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3981.Party Members’ Loyalty

Stalin decided to test Party members' loyalty. He summoned a Russian, a Ukrainian and a Jew and ordered them to jump from a tenth floor window. The Russian went to the window, looked down and begged: “Comrade Stalin, have mercy, I have a family, children.” Stalin flew into a rage: “Arrest him!” he ordered. The Ukrainian walked up to the window, looked down and fell on his knees: “Have mercy, Comrade Stalin, I'm the only breadwinner in the family.” “Arrest him!” ordered Stalin. The Jew took off his jacket, took off his trousers, took off his watch and handed them all to Stalin. Then he said, “Please, give these to my wife,” and jumped out of the window. But Stalin had only been joking and there were nets below so the Jew was not smashed to smithereens. In fact, he was brought back to Stalin. “Good fellow, Comrade Rabinovich,” said Stalin. “You have proved yourself a devoted Party member and for that you will receive a medal and I shall see that you get a better job. But, let me ask you, what gave you the courage?” Rabinovich replied; “I'll tell you frankly, Comrade Stalin. Even death is better than this kind of life in Russia.”

3981. 党員の忠誠度


3982. Kleptmaniac

“Doctor, doctor, I keep stealing things. Can you give me something for it?” “It is called kleptomaniac. Try these pills. And if they don't work, bring me back a DVD player."

3982. 盗癖


3983. I was referring to your lawyer

"Your honor," a defense attorney began, "I have a series of witnesses that can testify that Mr. Johnson was nowhere near the scene of the crime when it occurred." The judge looked at the defense table and said, "This is the third time you've been in this court room this week, and I'm getting sick of hearing your lies." Mr. Johnson, the defendant, stood up with a confused expression and said, "Your honor, you must be mistaken. I've never been here in my life." Waving his finger, the judge replied, "I was referring to your lawyer.""

3983. あなたの弁護士のことを言ったんですよ



What do the guests do at a cannibal wedding? They toast the bride and groom.

3984. トースト




A white female tourist was admiring an American Indian's necklace. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Oh, no," he instantly objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."

3985. ネックレス


3986. Italian lawyers

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?" Told that it was true, the Italian lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law. "No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."

3986. イタリア人弁護士


3987.Get to the point

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pencil.
Doctor: Will you get to the point, please?

3987. 要点を述べる


●Get to the pointは「要点を述べる」というイディオムですが、この場合「鉛筆の芯の先」とも取れます。

3988.By the year 2050

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2050, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

3988. 2050年までに


3989. American Indians are superior to the white people

"Dad, do you think that the American Indians were superior to the white people who took this land from them?" asked the young boy. "You bet," replied the father. "When the Indians were the sole occupants of this land, they had no taxes, no national debt, no centralized government, no military draft, no foreign aid programs, no banks, no stock markets, no nuclear weapons, and their women did all the work. What could be more superior to that?"

3989. インディアンは白人より優れている


3990. Another 6 months

When I went to the doctor, his diagnosis was quite serious. He told me I would have only 6 months to live. But when I couldn't pay his bill, he gave me another 6 months.

3990. もう6ヶ月



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