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4011. Help is at hand

A very distinguished lady is on a plane arriving from Switzerland and finds herself seated next to a nice priest. She turns to the priest and says, "Excuse me, Father, could I ask a favor?" "Of course, what can I do for you?" he replies. "I have a problem. I bought myself a brand new sophisticated hair removing razor which cost me a lot of money. I’m worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock for me?" "Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I will not lie," he says. "You have such an honest face, Father," she says, "that I’m sure they will not ask you any questions." So she gives him the hair removing razor. The aircraft arrives at its destination and when the priest presents himself to customs, he’s asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son," he replies. Finding this a reply strange, the customs officer asks, "And from the sash down, what do you have?" The priest replies, "I have down there a marvelous little instrument destined for use by women, but which has never been used before." Laughing loudly, the customs officer says, "Go ahead Father. Next!"

4011. 身近な助け



4012. Cross-country

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? A cross-country.

4012. クロスカントリー


●Cross-country(クロスカントリーレース)は自然の野山を走る競技ですが、国境を越えて(cross country不法移民として、)アメリカに住み着くメキシコ人が多いことに掛けています。

4013. Freshman vs Senior

1. Freshman: Is never in bed past noon. Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.
2. Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade. Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.
3. Freshman: Is proud of his A+. Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his class.
4. Freshman: Calls his girlfriend every other night. Senior: Calls Domino's every other night

4013. 新入生と上級生の違い

1. 新入生は昼過ぎまでベッドで寝ていることはないが、上級生は昼前までベッドから起きない。
2. 新入生は良い点数を取るために授業の内容を暗記するが、上級生は良い点数を取るために教授のクセを覚える。
3. 新入生は成績が優(A+)だったことを誇りに思い、上級生は落第しないで済んだこと誇りに思う。
4. 新入生は一日おきにガールフレンドに電話をかけるが、上級生は一日おきにドミノピザの宅配を電話で注文する。

4014. Speed bumps

What do you call a hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps.

4014. 徐行帯



4015. Baby's name

An Indian goes to his Chief and asks him, "Chief, how did you name all the people of our tribe?" The Chief replies, "Oh, it’s quite easy. When a baby is born, I look at first thing moving in wilderness. The baby’s name just naturally comes up. If I see coyote running in fields, I name a baby Running Coyote. If I see a bull sitting, I name a baby Sitting Bull." "Oh, now I understand," says the Indian. Then the Chief turns to the Indian and says to him, "Well, why do you ask me, Two Dogs Fucking?"

4015. 赤ん坊の命名


4016. Trivia

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. Women blink twice as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb.

4016. 雑学


4017. Dependent on some machine and fluids

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will.” "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer.

4017. 機械と液体に頼った状態



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