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4171 Arm wrestling

The Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and the North Korean leader Kim Jong Un had an arm-wrestling. Abe had been regularly exercising at the gym and he easily beat the fat, habitual drinker Kim. The next day, an ostentatious North Korean State TV announcer broadcast the result of the arm-wresting fight. “Our great leader won the title of world No.2 arm-wrestling champion. Clunky Japanese Prime Minister Abe ended up second from the last!”

4171. 腕相撲

安倍首相と金正恩が腕相撲をした。毎日ジムで鍛えている安倍は、酒浸りでぶっちょの金正恩をいとも簡単にやつけてしまった。翌日北朝鮮の国営メディアは一斉に伝えた。 「偉大なる金正恩党委員長は、腕相撲で世界第二位に」 「愚かな安倍は最下位から二番目の成績」

 4172. State reform

Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe told Kim Jong Un, the leader of North Korea. “If you handed your country to me, I would reform North Korea to a country as rich as Japan in 10 years.” Kim replied, “If you handed your country to me, I would reform Japan to a country as poor as North Korea in 3 years.

4172. 国家改革


 4173. Green ink is unavailable here

A member of the Chinese Communist Party goes to study in North Korea, where he gets to learn about “juche” - the official state ideology of North Korea and the political system based on it. The Chinese Communist Party member wishes to let his friends back home know what life in North Korea is like. However, he knows for sure that all the letters he sends are opened by the North Korean authorities, so he thinks of a way to bypass censorship. The Chinese decides to write words meaning precisely what they say in blue ink, words conveying neutral meaning in black ink, and words intended to convey the very opposite meaning in green ink. After a while, his friends back home in China receive a letter from North Korea. The letter was written entirely in black ink, meant for words carrying neutral meaning. The conclusion they draw is that North Korea is not as good as the North Korean authorities’ propaganda says it is, and it is not as bad as the critics of the North Korean regime say it is. However, at the bottom of the letter, they come across a note from their friend: “My friends, I apologize. Green ink is unavailable here….”

4173. 緑のインクが手に入らなかったので



4174. Are you a call girl or a consultant?

1. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
2. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
3. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.
4. Even though you might get paid big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.
5. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

4174. あなたは売春婦?それともコンサルタント?

1. あなたが高額のお金を支払われるのは、あなたの顧客を幸せにするためです。
2. あなたの顧客は、あなたのホテル室料と時間当たりの料金報酬を支払います。
3. あなたの料金は時間単位で支払われますが、時間を延長することは可能です。
4. あなたは顧客から多額の報酬を受け取りますが、ニコニコしながら部屋から出て行くのはあなたの顧客の方です。
5. あなたの顧客はなたの料金がいくらで、その料金で何が得られるかをいつも知りたがります。

4175. Less expensive face lift

Catty is very despondent about her aging looks and makes an appointment to see a plastic surgeon. After he examines her, he recommends she undergo a full face lift. "Doctor," she says, "what will the operation to give me a full face lift cost?" "For you," says the doctor, I would estimate $25,000." "Oh, that’s far too much, doctor," she says. "Isn’t there anything less expensive?" "Well," replies the doctor, "you could try wearing a veil."

4175. お金がかからない美容整形


4176. Retiree

Q1. How many days in a week after your retirement?
A1. Six Saturdays and one Sunday.

Q2. Why don't retirees mind being called seniors?
A2. The term comes with a 10% discount.

Q3. What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A3. If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Q4. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A4. Answer: Normal.

Q5. Why do retirees count pennies?
A5. They have the time.

4176. 退職者






4177. Gevalt

As Freda, Hannah, Kitty and Naomi are playing Bridge one evening, Freda suddenly says, "I have a confession to make. We’ve known each other now for many years so I feel I can now tell you my secret. I’m a kleptomaniac." "Oh my God!" moan the other three. "But there’s no need to worry - I’ve never stolen from any of you and I never will. You’re my friends." At that, Hannah says, "OK, since we’re having a confession session, I’d like to admit that I’m a nymphomaniac." "Oh my God!" moan the other three. "But there’s no need to worry - I’ve never tried to get ensnare any of your husbands and I never will. You’re my friends." "Well then," says Kitty, "I’d like to admit that the reason I never married is that I’m a lesbian." Oh my God!" moan the other three. "But there’s no need to worry - I will never make any overtures to any of you. You’re my friends." Naomi then stands up and says, "I too have a confession to make. I’m a gossip monger. Could you please excuse me right now? I have a lot of calls to make." "Gevalt!" moan the other three. Note: “Gevalt” is an Yiddish exclamation of fear.

4177. Gevalt(怖〜い)



4178. Raw eggs

One morning Kate went a small diner in her neighborhood for breakfast. The waitress explained the special that morning was two eggs, tomatoes, mushrooms, hash browns and toast for $4.99. "That sounds good, but I don't want any eggs." "OK," said the waitress, “but I will then have to charge you $6.50." "Why? It doesn’t make sense," asked Kate. "Because you will then in effect be ordering a la carte," the waitress replied. "Do you mean I'll have to pay more for not taking the eggs?" asked Kate. "Yes," the waitress answered. "OK then, I'll take the special this morning," Kate finally said. "How do you want your eggs?" asked the waitress. "Raw and in the shell, please," Kate repliedAt the end of the meal, Kate took the two raw eggs home.

4178. 生玉子


4179. Ali Baba and the forty thieves

Three men were talking about coincidences at a bar. The first man said, " my wife was reading ‘The tale of two cities’ and she gave birth to twins." "That`s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading 'The three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets" The third man shouted, "Good God! I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my pregnant wife was reading ‘Ali Baba and the forty Thieves ’!”

4179. アリババと40人の盗賊



4180. No hands

What did the digital clock say to the analog clock?  A. Look, No hands!

4180. 手で触れるな!(針がないだろう!)


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