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4221. A farmer's mule

Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he was out in the field, Jake's wife brought his lunch to him. Then she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining while he was eating lunch. Suddenly, Jake's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly. At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the women offered sympathy to Jake he would nod his head up and down, but when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side. When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Jake and asked, “Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?” "Well," Jake replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, 'Is that mule for sale!?'"

4221. 百姓のラバ


4222. Finally Together

Sadie is a beautiful girl. She could have been an actress but instead she decides to get married young and raise a large family. In no time at all she has ten children. Then suddenly her husband passes away - and Sadie is still only 42. But it doesn’t take our Sadie long to find a new husband. She quickly remarries and finds happiness once more. She could have decided that ten children was enough, but instead has eight more by her new husband. He dies when Sadie is still only 64 years old. Maybe having so many children took it out on Sadie’s poor body because only a few months later, Sadie herself passes away. At her funeral, the Rabbi looks skyward and says, "At last they're finally together." Sadie’s eldest son says, "Rabbi, do you mean mum and my father, or mum and my stepfather?" The Rabbi replies, "Neither. I mean her legs."

4222. やっと一緒になれる



4223. Jury

Just remember when you go to court, you have to entrust your fate to twelve people that aren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty!

4223. 陪審員


4224. What does each get?

One day a teacher asked her pupils in class, “"A rich man dies and leaves $240,000,000 in his will. One-third is to go to his wife; one-fifth is to go to his son; one-sixth to his chauffeur; one eighth to his secretary; and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a long silence in the classroom, Johnnie raised his hand and said, "A good lawyer!"

4224. それぞれ、いくらもらいましたか?


●先生は算数の問題として「What does each get?(それぞれ、いくらもらいましたか?)」質問したのですが、ジョニーは「(そういう状況ならお互い争いになるだろうから)弁護士を必要とした(get)」と答えたわけです。

4225. An ant and elephant

An ant and an elephant got married despite the best advice of their friends. During their first night of the honeymoon, the elephant suffered a heart attack and died. "It's so bad!" said the ant, "five minutes of passion, and now I have to spend the rest of my life digging a grave."

4225. 蟻と象


4226. Holy land

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife suddenly passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in The Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it for a while and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?" The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.

4226. 聖地



4227. For the good of the city

An old man was sitting in the front row at a town meeting, heckling the mayor as he delivered a long speech. Finally the mayor could stand it no longer, so he pointed to the heckler and said, "Will that gentleman please stand up and tell the audience what he has ever done for the good of the city?." "Well, Mr. Mayor," the man said in a firm voice. "I voted against you in the last election."

4227. 市のために行った善いこと


4228. Only chance to have a rest

Natalie had three very active sons and they were quite handful. One summer evening she was playing cowboys and Indians with them in her front garden when one of the boys "shot" her and shouted "Bang! You're dead, Mom." So Natalie fell down. Her next door neighbor had been watching all this and when Natalie didn't get up straight away, he ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbor bent over her, Natalie opened one eye and said to him, "Shhh. Please don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to have a rest all day."

4228. 唯一休める時なのだから


4229. Israel is a healthy place

Abe was visiting Israel for the first time. As soon as his plane landed, he got a taxi to take him to his hotel. The taxi driver was very friendly and told Abe all kinds of useful information. Then Abe asks the driver, "Say, is Israel a healthy place?" "Oh, yes, it really is," the driver answered, "When I first came here, I couldn't say even one simple word, I had hardly any hair on my head, I didn't have the energy to walk across a small room.” "That's a remarkable story, truly amazing," Abe said, "so how long have you been here in Israel?" "I was born here."

4229. イスラエルは健康的な場所です



4230. Report card

A father said to his son, “Show me your report card." The son replied, "Dad, my friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

4230. 成績表


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