Kaz's BOOK STOREへ 英語のジョーク表紙へ
Mail Kaz for Other Jokes Archives(旧作一覧)


4241.Hoya! Hoya

It was election time and Barack Obama decided to go out to the local reservation to gather support from the Native Americans. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech. Obama had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!" The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet. Obama was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm and added, "I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native Americans!" The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!" After the speech, Obama was touring the Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Wanting to show his interest, he asked the Chief if he could get closer to take a look at the cattle. "Sure," the Chief said, "but be careful not to step in the hoya."

4241. ホヤ!ホヤ!



4242. You should have ordered that instead

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, but when you see what the other person has, you wish you should have ordered that instead.

4242. 別のものを頼めばよかった


4243.Plenty of dresses

A Norwegian businessman Ole comes home unexpectedly at 4:00 in the afternoon when he finds his wife Lena is laying naked on the bed. Ole says, “Lena, what are you lying there naked on the bed?" Lena replies, "Ole, I have nothing to wear." Ole says, "What do you mean by having nothing to wear? You have a plenty of dresses in your closet." Ole opens the closet door and counts her dresses. “"See, here's one dress, another dress, another dress, oh, hello Sven, another dress, and another dress. Aren’t they enough?"

4243. 沢山の洋服


4244. Earthquake

A major earthquake, measuring 9.1 on the Richter scale hit New Zealand. The country is devastated with 350,000 New Zealanders missing, and over 400,000 injured. The country is totally ruined and the government is so overwhelmed that it has issued a worldwide appeal for assistance. Sure enough, other nations have been quick to respond to the disaster.
Britain is flying in rescue workers and sniffer dogs to help locate trapped victims. The U.S.A. is flying in food supplies and aid money. France is flying in doctors, nurses and first aid units. Japan is flying in high tech communications equipment. Germany is flying in special trained police squads to help restore order. Russia is flying in tents and warm clothing. Australia is flying in 350,000 replacement Kiwis.

4244. 地震



Left brain has nothing right in it and right brain has nothing left in it.

4245. 脳

左脳(left brain)はその中に何も正しい(right)物が入っておらず、右脳(right brain)には、何も残って(left)いない。

4246. Blue ping pong balls

One day, a teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday. On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are on the beach?" Needless to say, no one could answer. The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer. Frustrated, Little Johnny decides that the following Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a three day weekend. So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them blue. The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day, just when the teacher says "Here's this week's question," Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room. The teacher asks, "What's this?" Little Johnny stands up and says, "Two blue ping-pong balls, see you on Tuesday!"

4246. 青いピンポン球


4247. Birthday 

(1). What goes up and never comes down? Your age.
(2). What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Martin Luther King all have in common? They were all born on National holidays.
(3). What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks. I'll never part with it!

4247. 誕生日

(1).上がりっぱなしで、決して下がらないものは? あなたの年齢

●(2)はこれらの人々の偉大な業績を記念して、彼等の誕生日がアメリカ国民の祝日になったわけです。また(3)のnever part with itは「手放さない」という意味ですが、もらった男は禿頭ですから、この櫛を使ってpart(髪の毛を分ける)ことは決してできないよ、という意味にも取れます。

4248. Six-pack of beer

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve fell off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance left with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realized that one of them have to tell Steve's wife. Bob said he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteered to do the job. After two hours he returned, carrying a six-pack of beer. "So did you tell her?" asked Jeff. "Yes", replied Bob. "Say, where did you get the six-pack?" "She gave it to me!" "What?" exclaimed Jeff, "You just told her Steve had died and she gave you a six-pack?" "Yes, she did," Bob said. "Why?" asked Jeff. "Well," Bob continued, "when she answered the door, I asked her, 'are you Steve's widow?’ 'Widow?' she said, 'no, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!' So I said, 'I’ll bet you a six-pack you ARE!'”

4248. 6本の缶ビールパック


4249. Three baby cows

One day, a mama cow and her three baby cows were out grazing in the field. The first baby cow comes up to the mama cow and says, "Mama, why is my name Daisy?" The mama cow says, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a daisy fell on your head." And the first baby cow walked off, satisfied. The second baby cow came up to the mama and said, "Mama, why is my name Tulip?" "Well, honey, when you were born a tulip fell on your head." The baby cow was happy with that answer and continued grazing. Then the third baby cow came up to the mama cow and said, "GLUPHABYPOGHHH!!!" And the mama cow said, "SHUT UP BRICK!!!"

4249. 三匹の子牛



4250. Sea

Girl: You remind me of the sea.
Boy: Because I'm wild, unpredictable and romantic?
Girl: No, because you make me sick.

4250. 海


Kaz's BOOK STOREへ 英語のジョーク表紙へ
Mail Kaz for Other Jokes Archives(旧作一覧)